TELOPHASE

Cytokinesis / (Last Goodbye)

 

I say stay.

Stay I say.

You should stay.

 

I'll hold your hand 

And you'll hold my hand

And we'll pray

 

That love won't 

Always have to

 

End this way.

Cut the corner

 

And since I've become

A cold executioner

 

Self defense or not

It is irrelevant

 

I thought, for once

That all this coughing

And nail biting

Scratching, clawing

Pulling your lover's elbow as a

Reflex to stop their attempt

At leaving you

 

Seems so meticulously pre-written 

That doing it or not

Is at the end of the day

(And it is, so I must bid you goodnight 

Soon) 

So irrelevant, so redundant 

That when you yell Stop. Don't go. I love you so. Or even

Fuck you/off, I don't wanna see you again,  etc. And on your marks. Get set. go! 

The effect is always and universally 

The same. 

 

A race has ended. And another race begins. 

And both runners still have

A long

Long way

To go.

-Blank Page-

I'm gonna leave this one empty.

Who knows?

I might need it later.

Yours Sincerely, A Troubled Tenant

 

All the pretty girls live

In Appartment Block 2

And I, as fate would have it

Live in Apartment Block 1

 

Yet life is good

From my windows I catch

Sometimes

A glimpse of sun

Or few.

 

Life is good. Life is fun

 

As all the pretty girls live

In Appartment Block 2

I see them passing

And think of who

Will intrigue them

Fatigue them

Hurt them

Deceive them

Cheat them

Beat them

Leave them.

 

I like to think that I would be 

Kinder and more

Grateful

And faithful 

And able to heal them

Listen and feel them

Make them happy

And let them

Know that

 

Life is good. Life is fun.

 

But who knows how it would be?

Me and a pretty girl from Appartment

Block 2.

I could turn out an asshole, too.

 

And anyway, as fate would have it

I live in Appartment Block 1.

Nursery Blue

 

It's not burning

But it ain't cool either

You call me bishop, Babe 

But ain't even a believer

 

Stop. Let's start 

Again. 

This word will always rhyme

With pain

And sane

Anyone would be cautious of the next

Word.

 

One bird. One bee.

One you. One me.

One opioid-confusing-

Herb-infusing-each other- and each self

Abusing

Self finding and self loosing

Self healing and self Bruising

Nuclear Particle parting

Soul fusing

Cruising-for-a

 

Sing along now

"We love each other and ourselves

We love each other dearly

We love ourselves, each other more

We love eachother merely!" 

 

The nurseries will never rhyme as long as something's missing

And mom and daddy know this well

And find it so displeasing. 

 

Now kids, In Father Sigmund's words

Our haunted beds 

And minds alike

Dislike allegories so much

That every time we touch each mother

! Other!!  Is the word! 

 

But haven't you bad children heard? 

 

That what you know can't hurt you? 

 

I started poetry for love

This poem was no different

But children-me and hidden-me

Are sometimes calling me: friend

 

So much so that this no more 

Can can dance as confession 

But more and more my less and less - On was 

 

To find the cause

That makes all children and myself

Afraid to play, until today

(at ages old and foggy) 

With each and every other 

 

And even if by my sheer luck

I haven't killed my father 

And haven't even wished to do 

So so and much and much

 

I still can match

My matchless mermaid socks

And wormhole hat

 

And yes, you could have called me fat. 

But you didn't, and I didn't 

And

Appreciate

That.

A smile to forget

 

They say that I have ugly teeth
I say I have ugly teeth
Yellow and nicotine-stained
I walk them in empty streets
Of yellow leaves and nicotine
Paths of surrender

Yes they say I have
Ugly teeth
I show them to everyone
Sometimes as a reward to
Something funny they said
Or to show them I care
Or to show them that life can
Sometimes make me want to
Show them my ugly teeth! 
I smile with them and use them to
Eat
Yes I have ugly teeth. I touch them with my tongue every time i say 
I love you 
I'm going to leave 
I like this and that
And
Llisten to me, pllleeeease

Listen to me and my ugly teeth
You may have beautiful teeth but
Your ears don't have to be ugly all the time
Use them 
And listen. 
Listen to me and my ugly teeth

Yes I have ugly teeth, but that doesn't mean
I've ever bitten anyone that cared for me
Or anyone in spite
Or anyone who said, or thought 
That I have ugly teeth. 

Or that I couldn't,
If I wanted to. 

What exactly is “it” ?

 

Tattoo - fuck you

I was never really up to

No good - no bueno

I could really never say no

 

It's not half and it's not whole

It's not really, not at all

It can't speak and it can't cry

It can't save and it can't try.

 

I pray for it and it's not there

I respect it and I beat it

I mend it when it's torn

I kill it before it's even born

 

Play it loudly on the speakers

Fuck the finders, fuck the keepers! 

Sing it from the rooftop of your shame

Leave before it comes

And say it never came

 

Name it

Maim it

Paint it and saw it back together

Teach it to ask about the weather

 

Make it rain

Money - money - later fame

Keep your mouth shut

Order weekly pizza hut

Get a dog, get a cat

Get old, get fat

Buy a retirement hat

 

You're standing while it's always

Sat.

And Why, oh why, oh why

Did that motherfucking guy

 

Have to eat a fucking bat?

Pandemic 

And, just like that

Humanity went viral

Not in a good sense though

I know, I know

We shouldn't cough this time of life

But cuff me all the times you like

Dear Government, Houdini I

Will spring like spring and. 

Touch the Sky. Plus

 

Some of us

Have always had to deal

With loneliness and isolation

And others never had to reign

The horse of their temptation

In. We are staying in. It's safer

And it's healthy.

 

And Jesus didn't wash his hands

Last time. That's why

They had to 

Put nails through them

And pierce right through

Me, you and them and

Eden

 

And all I have are apples now

And apples are forbidden.

Yet don't go out sounds like advice that's 

Sane and same and sane and same and sane and same 

Here here! What did you hear? 

 

Was it the bell that tolls for us? 

Or was it an infected bus hurling through

Hope and Hell itself

Was it the voice of your own self

Or was it my voice calling? 

 

We love you world, we love ourselves

We love each other 

We love our great grand father 

Death or 

Is he Fear? He really can't 

Remember. And I might have to stay locked in at least until September. 

To get over things that

Happened, way way before the plague. 

Go over actions rather right 

Or maybe a mistake. 

 

"What are we going through? " you ask, while trying to keep your senses.

 

An old lady, (Judge Joy or Fate her name had been) 

Replies:

(through her mask) 

 

We are going through

The consequences.

Corona came and went and all we got was this stupid poem

 

Have you seen spring

Continue to sing

Even when humans can't hear it

Anymore?

 

Have you seen the cats living

The best out of their nine lives

Out there? Crossing streets without

Care, the flowers bloom

Without the need for

Your camera's zoom

The sun not give a damn about

Your summer tan, shining

Against our whining

And isn't it a fine thing? To know that

Nothing revolves around us

That our motors don't make the

Earth spin, that none of the

Above-mentioned exists just to be seen?

 

We are the same. And we should finally

Act like it.

 

I know that as much as you love your

Spouse or family or flatmates

Having to endure them 24/7

Will have led to some resentment

Some wild dreams about emigrating to 

A silent island, a paradise of calm trees

And palm psalms, and cloud lambs

Far stars and no. and no pain at last. 

 

But all of this and all of that. 

 

The invisible enemy's guns

Against our hearts' rattatatat

 

The stupid innocence

Of a guy eating a bat

 

The escapist walking of the dog 

The persistent petting of the cat

 

The perseverance of your sad body

On a yoga mat. 

 

Your neighbour with his mask and tinfoil hat. 

Our loving lips that keep apart. 

 

Will all have been in vain

If when the dragon's slain

We act like nothing's happened

And continue our old race

On flattened weeks and drunken Saturdays

 

 

Instead of taking a step back 

 

And trying to find the finishing line

Which we crossed often

But noticed not. 

And use it, at last and finally

 

As a brand new start.

Empty Streets / Full Heart

 

As I walk the empty streets

The streets emptied by fear and love

Of each other, For each other

I hope to see them fill again. 

With little laughs and smiles and

Balloon bunches of hearts 

And super heroes and flowers. 

I hope to see them filled with beautiful people! 

Women whose bodies and eyes make

Your soul wanna rip open its cage 

And go and live with them! 

I want to see the streets filled with old people, walking like full and careful and grateful snails

After the storm of their youth has passed. 

 

Yes, the streets are empty now. 

But their previous fullness, fills them still.

 

Our absence fills the spaces we used to occupy. An occult law. That Science can't hope to ever figure.

 

I walk the empty streets, and next to me is everyone I have been carrying inside all this time. 

Just to let out, when the streets are empty. So that they can fill them, empty me, fill me again, with their Company.

 

When there's enough space

For them to walk next to me. 

 

When no one can question how I can be eating 

Imperceptible cotton candy from an extinct street vendor. Or who's hand I'm holding. Or To whom I'm Throwing coins. 

 

When there's no people to step on their invisible toes. 

 

When the present's deficiencies

Demand their presence. 

 

When the cobalt streets require their spectral shoes and paranormal paws to justify their usefulness. And all those finite EU funds. 

 

When there's enough of me and my attention to make them justice. 

 

When there's enough silence

For their voices to be heard

Again.

Toxic Masculinity

 

The gayest thing I ever did
Was hold a woman's hand
And get a hard-on. 

All smiles

It's not been
But there wasn't
A lack of
Either.

A thankful note

"Soul, I feel honoured that you have trusted me with a loved one."

My Take on Time (Ecclesiastes 3)

There's a time to live
And a time to not live. 

And you will never see the second one.

A poet walks into a bar (life in general)

 

-Who do I have to shag to get a good poem around here?! 

-No one.

The shortest story I'll ever write

There once was a man who could change the past.

And he didn't.

Code of Conduct

In my school, graffiti was punishable by a life of mediocrity...

Women

For those of you
Who "need a Real Man"
Go fuck yourselves.

Melody

 

Death comes like a mild spring breeze
And leaves me wondering
Why mothers birth children
Why boys love girls
How come everything keeps
Spinning? 
How can something so devoid of meaning
Be everything we will ever have?
What is the fucking point?
A parade of lost loved ones
Unfolds before of my eyes.
Then, and always
As I find my self in the utter
Pit of despair.
A parading loved one
Picks up a trumpet,
And starts playing a melody
The most beautiful melody I have
Never heard
And to this melody, they march
And march, until they are all gone
And the lone trumpeter remains,
And plays this melody,
Until I'm not afraid anymore...
Until I can stand straight
On a mad spinning world
And march steadily 
Towards my end...
And the beginning of a parade
In front of another person's eyes...
Ready to one day become
The trumpeter.
Ready. To share with him
This beautiful melody.

Mathematics for babies

 

This child in your belly

Which we made together

(Although you made it 

More.)

Will one day stand free

And tall

So undeniably that even 

Though

Two plus two is always four

 

One plus one

Can sometimes equal

Three.

Tony Robbins 

 

Are you tired yet?
The road is long and curved
It demands
That's what roads do
They demand
They always demand

You don't have to provide. 
Not always.
Take a break.
Make it a year, two, three 
Five decades if you so please

If you so need.

The road will be there.
Roads will always be there.

And don't. 
Don't. 
Don't!

Let 
Anyone

Tell 
You

That 
You
Won't.

Space Kids

 

To Gwendolyn Brooks 

 

We come from outer space
Jinx it, drinks it
Takes an ice cream and 
Licks it. 

Our parents were monkeys
So we went bananas
We have no hair
But wear red bandanas. 

Space kids, we
Lost time, we
Won't rhyme, we
Don't try

Idyllic sunset tears
Poetic casuality
Slow connection fears
Rejecting reality 

Daddy someone called from Mars
Mother someone called from Venus
You are earthlings, darling frowns
Adorn the space between us. 

Space kids, we
Lie with ease, we
Have no peace, we
Aim to please. 

Love antenna, fight subpoena 
Macarena, salsa, vegan
Mock the romance, season 10
Shy is why we won't pay rent. 

Daddy works too much, feels little, talks even less
Mommy, cooks and cries and wishes she was ageless. 
And both of them have made a pact with some earth god we care not for
And promised to maintain their pain
Like their parents did before. 

Space kids, we
Do drugs, we
Hate hugs, we
Eat bugs, we
Fast dance, we
Lost chance, we
Cry milk, we
Love drink, we
Crush suns, we
Soul punch, we
Galactically depress, we
Never confess, we
Fucked up mess, we
Always stressed, we
Eat lies, we
Pink eyes, we
Rocked science we, 

Block, lock, choke, coke, we
Knock, talk, cock, mock we

Not sleep, brave rave, skip eat
Split repeat, we

Space kids, we
Built our spaceships from mom's Dyson, we
Bought our fuel out of dad's loan, we

Gon leave drunk skidmarks on the moon, we
Fly soon. 

This just in

 

During my evening walk,
When I'm used to not talk
I saw someone which surely was
A strange encounter, with a stranger cause.

He was an old news anchor, a famous one
And while a kid, I was
He stated laws, and who was lost and, murders, sports 
That used to lead to such great fun!

But now he walked the street, like me, instead
And I remembered that it was 
Four years
Since he's been dead

And I was moved and said, this must be a sign
This wondrous specter must have something fine
To say to me, to change my view, my life, my way

And finally he spoke! And said in his familiar voice, through all the traffic noise

"It is a fine day!"

Too much to my 
Too much to my dismay - 

It is a fine day. 
It is a fine day...
That's all he had to say. 

Forever

 

So you want weird stuff.

I'll give you weird stuff.

 

Don't talk with other prisoners

Because judges have weird taste in music.

I couldn't pet an alpaca even if I wanted to.

Stress eats the hat that wears us to work each day.

Love is the swelling of the ashtray.

God rises every time we fall.

Money can't buy money and that's not a

Fact.

Facts are what ecstasy-fiends call

Trying.

 

It was a lonely day. It was an honest attempt. I promise it was. But you know once you go crazy once

You lose the

Ability to surrealise yourself and the world around you.

I'm here licking hypothetical ice creams.

And wishing I could fuck your brains out.

But you take drugs to escape sanity

And I take drugs to maintain sanity.

And honestly who the fuck could compete with lsd?

But a spin of your hips is enough

To send me right through the rabbit hole

Again and again

Ever and ever.

 

And although you have more experiences

And roll around senses

Demolish defences and

Spread love like it's the hippy sixties

Again. Again. Again. 

All you have is the word again.

 

You can't have forever. You can't feel forever.

You can't touch forever.

I own it.

 

Through my lacks of everything

I own forever and it is impossible

To share it with someone

Like you.

 

I own forever. That's what you want, 

And all like you want 

And are searching for

And can't get, and won't get.

 

I am a mad deprived dog of heaven.

I am the Cerberus of forever.

To get it you have to go

 Through me.

 

And staying inside me

Guarantees that you won't.

 

Never.

For I am a mad, deprived, black

Loyal dog of heaven. 

The saviour of fervour, the timeless endeavour,

The clever whatever. 

 

The Cerberus 

Of 

Forever.

A crime like no other 

 

Hate. I don't want to hold on

To you

Anymore. 

 

But lo, 

Love breaks me

Every time. 

 

I cuddled a singing sigh

I beat down a thrilling high

I went down into the underworld

Of lost age.

 

I came back

With empty hands

And a full heart.

 

One day I'll hold on to someone

Who'll hold me too.

I'll heal and

I'll heal. 

 

I'll say

"This is a tree" 

"J-a-r, 

R-i-n-g" 

"I before she, except after he" 

I'll get a golden star

For trying. 

Mom will be proud

Again. 

 

I'll stop smoking

My lungs will clear 

From the blackness 

Of a life spent 

Saintly. 

 

If you've never felt 

Time be your ally

Then you've 

Never been

Betrayed. 

 

Innocent. I plead

With all my powers. 

I scream it. I howl it. 

I spew it almost like

An accusation. 

Innocent. Innocent. Innocent. 

INNOCENT! 

 

Now, life,

 

Show me no clemency 

 

"You spare the rod, you spoil the child", they

Say. 

 

Give me

The penalty

I deserve. 

Love poem? 

Let's write something.

Together.

Big or small.

It matters not that much.

I'll use my best metaphors

You can give your similes.

We'll alliterate and alliterate

I'll make funny puns

You'll make sad ones.

I'll call the city "a cesar salad

With no mayor" .

You'll call it "a crime of intensity

With no intent".

I'll write about how saints cry away their sins at night.

You'll write about sinners laughing their lungs out on Judgement day. 

 

So come on. 

 

Let's write something

Together. 

I'll count your ribs in verses, I'll scale them with every syllable,

I'll tip toe downwards with every

Change of rythm. 

Every fullstop of mine will be a mole of yours

You'll offer me your breasts to feast upon

In brackets. 

I'll give you many exclamation marks! And

Oh! s and And lo' s! and alas'! 

You'll rhyme words with birds

Pain with plain, love with dove

Save with rave, fusion with conclusion. 

I'll talk of Christ, our benevolent Lord and Saviour! 

You'll put the women who scream, and kick and spit at men for their behaviour! 

You'll swear, a lot. 

And thank fuck for that

Because poems need swearing, for God's sake! 

 

So let's write something. 

Together. 

Big or small. 

It matters not that much. 

You can put just a word if you want. 

 

And I'll put 

The questionmark.

Fly me to the

 

Oh darling,

That's not the moon. 

That's a balloon! 

 

Yes, it is

White and pale

And round. 

 

Yes, it is 

Loopy and loony

And sound 

 

Inflated, conflated

Lonely, homely

 

A step on it could burst it

And

Humans have shown it incredible

Mercy. 

 

It predicts the weather 

It's as cool as leather!

 

You can see it, but not reach

It secretly steals from the rich

And gives to those who need it

 

It's there by order of the Crown

It loves the jester, kills the clown

 

It's a powdered nostril of hopelessness

A triangle that lost it's form. 

An out of shape pyramid.

 

You never truly saw it 

But I promise that  

You'll see it 

Soon!

 

Oh darling, 

 

While you 

Hold my hand 

And walk 

Through Apollo Avenue

 

Please remember this:

That's not the moon. 

That's a balloon. 

Got heavy again

 

An ingrateful little

Shirt's not tucked in

Properly, overly

Analyzing every single step

To dance would be an awful

Responsibility, almost maddening

 

Just go. Oh no

You said the magic word

The sky is raining money and lessons

To be learned. 

 

Nothing has to be earned

It's given to you or forgiven to you

It's born before you know it

It's torn by you before you even hold it.

 

Got heavy again, no gain just pain

Am I the only one that finds it all

A bit too vain?

Come shine or rain

Me Tarzan, you Arson

Me petrol tank, you Jane

It's us against

The whole damn

Fire brigade!

 

And fuck them fuck them trully

They never knew 

What for

Were matches made

 

You're an Ace buried in a dirty sleeve

And I'm a Spade

 

(And the damned radio

Don't care no more

That I can't buy no Lucozade!) 

 

I've been digging so much

My phone will soon connect

To Hades' wifi

 

Byebye sci-fi 

CO2 - no to

Any other respiration network

 

There's too much Oxygen around

Enough to kill

The sniffing, snuffling 

Police - buy cash only- no lease 

Hound

 

Was lost but now I'm found

 

The happiest man on earth

Read this

And frowned.

Video Games

 

Be a good boy

No toy-soy - bean- seen

 

Been there, done that! 

Been where, done what? 

 

Jobless, newly homeless

And very very Soulless. 

 

Bottomless feelings

New old beginnings

 

Stigmatized by niche clichés

Traumatized by doing the dishes

 

Once too very often 

 

My heart will now not soften

To the hearing of the nearing

 

Of anything remotely related 

To the horrors of the L word

 

Died, divorced, beheaded

 

Sun's out but my gun's unleaded

 

Faded, sedated

Heavily under the influence 

Of the moon

And something that couldn't 

Die too soon. 

 

Welcome, June

And farewell May! 

I really have no words to

Say

 

Time talks and talks and talks

Away. 

Piranhas starve while vegans eat

And love and pray

 

Trapped princess 

I really really

Ain't got no more games to play

 

Game over came and went

And the controller's broken

And the TV got up and walked away. 

 

I'll be no pacman anymore,

Sick of being chased or chasing ghosts

And eating shit all day. 

 

And guess what,

Through all this virtual 

Playing and messin'

I learned a real life lesson! 

 

That mushrooms never make you grow

And that it's time for me to go

 

And find my Super Mary. 

 

The big red hat won't fit

The most

 

And that's a price but not a cost.

 

A prize, that's fair

And scary. 

Re: Poetry

 

Just another day

We need more and more

To avoid dismay

Soon we soon we soon

We say.

Just another day.

 

I want to live

Poetry lies in yesterday. 

 

In summary there's nothing. 

 

The page sits empty

And awaiting ink

 

Think! Think! 

Don't speak! Don't say! 

Don't act in fact! 

Don't leave! don't stay! 

 

Poetry feeds the dogs that prey

On complex feelings

Overnoticed ceilings 

And mercy killings

Of a blossoming May.

 

Future future where'd you go? 

I come out of my lair and hunt you so! 

 

Poetry trips the running foe. 

It ties the truth with what you know

It shoots the roots that make you grow

 

It misses the misses that miss you

It masters the misters that kiss you 

 

But it just isn't that much anymore. 

I break it in pieces and swallow it whole

 

And I'm still oh so very, 

Hungry and hungry 

And merry! 

 

That Mary was not 

Such a hoe. 

There is Always Soap

Soap. They used to turn humans into

Soap. And they still tell me that you have to

Hope. They used to tie them with an iron

Rope. And I'm so thankful that we'll see

The Pope. 

 

The sistine chapel shakes. We're running short on breaks. 

No flash photography

Can show myself to me.

We moan. We borrow and loan.

We are eternally (in brackets) all alone.

 

We howl. We crawl.

We speak of soul.

 

Defeated. Love barks mad anthems

In our ears.

We know that eventually

We're gonna lose everything 

And everyone.

Yet we act like we don't care.

 

Should we?

 

Kiss on the stairs. Run your hand through her hair. 

Dare.

 

Dare me. Scare me.

Love me. Glove me.

Have me

For dinner

You sinner

I'll meet you where the grass is greener.

 

I grew up in books

Through books.

Strange, me.

 

Change me.

Tear me to pieces and 

Rearrange me.

Through love and fear

We hear 

Schoolbreak bells and wedding bells

And funeral bells.

 

Hell is full of jesuses that just couldn't

Do.it.any.more.

Heaven is fake and empty

It's a child's drawing of an ugly sun

It's no fun.

 

And sinner- me, thinner- me

Is madder than world peace

I can talk to clocks.

I tell them stop.stop.stop.

And they reply tick.tock.tick.tock

And I'm sane enough to know that

That means they never listen.

 

But I do. I always listen with all my powers.

 

Love and fear. Sistine chapels of love and

Fear. 

Tick.

Love.

Tock.

Fear.

 

Walk. Dare. Speak. Hear.

Haunt. Stare. Kiss. Steer.

Beat. Eat. Feet. Here.

 

Tired at last.

 I walk my fleshy-flesh

Home.

I take off my sunset poetry clothes.

I sigh, turn on the realest water you've ever

Imagined and

I wash my self with soap.

 

Ah yes. Soap.

They used to turn humans into soap.

 

Are you sitting comfortably?

I sure hope not.

Outro

 

If you want to find the truth
You'll have to lose some things first.

If you want to find love
You'll have to lose some things first

If you want to find anything worth finding, really
You'll have to lose some things first

If you want to find white cyclamens of joy on the banks of the river that is life 
You'll have to lose the the beautifully thorny roses on the sidewalks of death's one-way certainty.

If you are sick of losing things, I get you.
George and Mark and 
Mary and Phoebe
I get you

You're tired of concepts like truth and love
And loss
You're tired of searching and searching

You want to lay on the bed one day
And just breathe and say
I have found enough
I have enough

The crow can grow
The bee can flee
The mouth can shut
The eyes too
The smile can rest
The search party can break up
The birds can fly in different directions
At last.

And love and truth and concepts like these can remain unfound.
We don't have to lose anything anymore
Trying to find things which are so well-hidden
Narcissistic Gods who demand such sacrifices

I get you, I feel you 
And if any one doesn't 

Put it this way:
Doesn't a kiss on the cheek from a "good friend" 

Feel better than a nail in each limb? 
Vinegar in your thirsty mouth? 

Or the crushing 
(Conceptual and Physical)
Burden 
Of Resurrection? 

 

“Let's sing another song, boys!

This one has grown old and bitter…”

Leonard Cohen